You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize