dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
