"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
