She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
