There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
