Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
