Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
