it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
