i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
