Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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