me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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