I can tuck mytits in my pants
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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