Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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