She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
