well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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