Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
