If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
