How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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