Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
