I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
