Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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