Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
