He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
