So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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