She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
