Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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