have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
