I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
