yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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