She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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