the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
