Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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