It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
