Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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