chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
