Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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