and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Also, beer. Big fan.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
