Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Quick, to the slutcave!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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