I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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