he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
