Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
