Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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