Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
