I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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