Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
