everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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