And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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