I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
