he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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