I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My ATM looks so different sober.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
