honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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