I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
