I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
