i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
