I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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