So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So squirting runs in the family.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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