did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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