i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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