I just saw a hot homeless man
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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