Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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