She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
